Sometimes, when you are in a new relationship and a holiday is approaching, you might find yourself having the age old internal conflict – do I get him/her a gift or not? You are certainly not the only one to ever wonder this, or to find yourself asking how much gifts actually matter in a relationship. But, the answer to this question isn’t one that can be answered with a simple yes or no.
There are a lot of factors that go into it, not to mention the answer is sure to vary from person to person. Before you consider purchasing any type of gift for the person that you are with, ask yourself some of the following questions?
- How long have you been dating this person? – Let’s not beat around the bush! When you are just starting out in a relationship most couples use gift buying as another means to win over the affection of the person that they are with. However, sometimes as relationships progresses and you become more like ‘an old married couple’ gifts tend to take a backseat to real life. You might even find yourselves deciding to forgo gifts one year so that you can save money, or simply because you don’t have time. If you have been in a relationship long enough, having this conversation together shouldn’t be a problem.
- Are you secure in the relationship you both have? – Before you consider purchasing a gift, you need to be sure that you are officially in a relationship where gift giving is appropriate. Sometimes if you have not left the ‘friend stage’ with someone, giving a gift can make it feel as though you are pushing the relationship too much for some people.
- Do you think that he/she is going to give you a gift? – Nothing is more awkward then getting a gift from someone when you have not purchased something for them in return. If the person that you are dating asks you what you want for an upcoming holiday, take the hint that they think gifts matter and get just a small one.
- Are material items important to this person? – If you are lucky enough to be dating a ‘gem’ who is very materialistic, they are certain to put more of an emphasis on receiving a gift.
- Is there an alternative to a gift that this person might appreciate even more? – You might find that you are dating someone who appreciates your time rather than any type of gift you can give them. If you are so lucky, then you don’t necessarily have to worry about any type of particular gift, but maybe plan an evening watching a movie together or taking a walk in the evening.
The truth is, we all would like to think that gifts aren’t important to a thriving, successful relationship, but it is nice sometimes to have someone do something nice for you, whether or not that gift costs money is up to the giver. Don’t underestimate the power of a simple conversation with your partner about gifts in general. You might find that the person you are with doesn’t believe in gift giving, which could potentially make or break a new relationship.