Is there a certain someone you just can’t keep off your mind? Are you thinking about his dreamy eyes, his muscular arms, or the way he laughs? If you have a crush on someone but don’t know how to take the first step, keep reading for flirting tips that will make him notice you.
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Before you Start
Before you approach your crush, there are a few things you should think about:
- Grace: the way you move through a room can be very attractive (or very unattractive). Move with confidence and poise. Maintain good posture and men will be instantly notice you.
- Health: try to be and look as healthy as possible and don’t be afraid to show some skin.
- Color: if you’re aiming to get noticed, don’t wear boring colors that blend into the crowd. Wear something to make you stand out. Even if a guy doesn’t like your outfit, he’ll notice you!
- Move: movement attracts notice. Be animated with your hands, body and face. This will also make you seem more energetic and healthy – both attractive qualities.
- Be accessible: men won’t approach you if they think you’re inaccessible. Don’t stay within a circle of your friends when you’re out at the club and try your best to appear approachable.
Men aren’t always going to come to you. Sometimes – especially if the guy you’re interested in is shy – you’ve got to start the ball rolling. Even worse, many guys are completely oblivious to a female’s attractions. You may have to be blunt. Flirting can be a complex science, but overall the most important thing to remember is to be confident and to have fun. The worst thing that can happen is to find out he’s not interested, and in that case you can move on to the next guy. No harm done.
Don’t be afraid to get caught looking at him. Whether it’s math class or the grocery store, look his way. If he catches you, smile and continue to look at him for a few seconds before looking away. He’ll immediately know that you’re interested. Make sure you don’t use this tactic all the time or you’ll come off as creepy – the worst possible thing when it comes to flirting!
When you start to speak with him, keep the mood playful and show him a genuine smile. Think of how much you like to be complemented – guys are the same way. Whether it’s his style or the way he trims his beard, give him a compliment. Just like eye contact, make sure not to overdo it with this tactic or you’ll come off as desperate – another thing you certainly don’t want.
While you’re talking, come up with an excuse to touch him. Is his collar askew? If you start to tease each other, give him a light punch. If you’re in a crowded room, accidentally brush by him or bump into him. Did he make you laugh? Touch his arm or shoulder lightly. During your conversation, remember to make eye contact. Don’t stare, but be confident and look right at him frequently. Imagine you’re smiling with your eyes. If you do have strong feelings for him, he’ll see it through your eyes.
Situational Flirting Ideas
- If you meet your crush at the gym, challenge him to a playful competition. He’ll love the idea and love it even more if he wins!
- If you see him at a night club or party, go up and ask him to dance. If he seems willing but shy, pull him onto the dance floor!
Just as there are so many things you can do to show you’re interested, there are also signals you can give – some without even meaning to – that show you’re not interested. Here are a few:
- Crossing your arms makes you look unapproachable and closed off (if you want something to do with your hands, play with your jewelry or hair a little, but no so much that you seem nervous).
- Don’t “magically appear” next to him every time you spot him alone. This makes you seem like a stalker.
- If he says that he has to leave, don’t try to keep him; it will make you seem desperate and clingy.
- If he gives you his number, don’t call or text as soon as he leaves your side. He needs time to miss you. If he doesn’t respond to your first call/text, wait for him to reply before contacting him again.
- Try to avoid lowering your chin/putting your head down. This will make you seem scared.
Don’t be boring! If you start to talk about a topic that ends up going nowhere, change it up. Make him understand how cool you are and how fun and exciting your life is. In other words, make him want to be a part of that life. While you’re talking, say his name a few times. This makes the conversation more personal and will make him comfortable.
Do you love to talk about yourself? Don’t. Instead, ask him questions about his opinions and what he likes. Let him talk about himself and eventually you’ll get the opportunity to reciprocate. That being said, make sure to really listen to what he’s saying so that you can interject appropriately. When you find out what’s he likes, take an interest and do some research so that you’re more educated on topics he’s likely to bring up. If he really enjoys something you have no idea how to do, such as archery, tell him you’re interested in learning – maybe he’ll teach you!
Can’t think of something to talk about? Ask him about his tattoos, if he has any. Tattoos usually have an important meaning and everyone with tattoos loves talking about them. If you and your crush are on the nerdy side, check out this Chicago Tribune article.
If the conversation is going well, test him with a command. Guys love it when a girl takes control. For example, “I’ve really been looking forward to the movie that’s coming out this weekend. You should take me.” Don’t phrase it as a question.
If you feel the conversation is coming to a slow point, don’t be afraid to leave. When you say goodbye, make it confident and flirty – but don’t run off. The main point is to make him want to talk with you again.
Is he Flirting Back?
It’s usually pretty easy to notice if he’s flirting back or not. Here are some common signs he’s picking up what you’re putting down, so to speak:
- Big smile
- Eye contact
- Mirroring (doing what you do)
- Standing with hands on hips (this unconscious behavior makes him look masculine and strong)
- Tilted head
- Touching you
- Dilated pupils and/or raised eyebrows
For more advice on decoding male behavior, read our article “Here’s how you can Tell.” Overall, remember to be yourself and have fun. Good luck!