The term libido typically refers to a person’s desire to have sex. Merriam-Webster defines libido as the “instinctual psychic energy that in psychoanalytic theory is derived from primitive biological urges (as for sexual pleasure or self-preservation) and that is expressed in conscious activity.” The terms libido and sex drive are interchangeable.
Men, you may have noticed that your sex drive is nothing like it was when you were 18. This is natural. A man’s urge to mate decreases over time. And the myth that a guy’s brain is always on sex isn’t true. In fact, many men wish their engines ran a little hotter, so to speak. To make matters worse, a low sex drive isn’t something that most people want to talk about, let alone ask for help with. Click here for some tips on how to “get in the mood.”
Believe it or not, there is no agreed-upon “average” for how many times a couple should be having sex per week. Some couples have sex almost every day, while other have sex less than once a month. So don’t worry about sticking to a number. As long as you and your partner are happy, you’re okay.
According to marriage and sex therapist Louanne Cole Weston, PhD, the definition of low sex drive is subjective: “A man has to perceive his libido as low, and it has to be distressing to him.” In other words, some individuals have a higher libido than others. Yours is only low if you feel like it’s low and it’s making you unhappy or causing problems in the bedroom.
What causes a man’s libido to decrease?
There are several reasons a man’s libido might be suffering. Causes range from hormonal to psychological. Check out the following list of common causes:
- Lack of confidence/negative self-image
- Low levels of testosterone (T) or other hormonal imbalance
- Certain medications including SSRI-type antidepressants, drugs to treat high blood pressure, and hair-loss remedies
- Alcohol/party lifestyle
- Stress and fatigue
- Relationship discrepancies
- Marriage troubles and anger
- Illness, depression, and mental disorders
- Sexual conditions like HSDD (hypoactive sexual desire disorder)
- Diseases and conditions including obesity, diabetes, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, and HIV
- Low dopamine levels
In many cases, the “cure” is simply to get your priorities in order or have a long conversation with your partner. Failing that, you may want to see a sex or marriage councilor. If you think a lack of testosterone is the culprit, visit a doctor. You can learn more about the best testosterone boosters and how to increase your T levels naturally HERE.
Increase your libido naturally
Men, Viagra isn’t always the answer. Pills and other libido-boosting products should not be the first thing you turn to when you’re having trouble in the bedroom. There are several natural methods you should try first:
An aphrodisiac is a substance believed to boost your libido. Bananas, avocados, and figs not only appear sexual, but also contain important minerals and vitamins that can increase blood flow to those important areas.
Chocolate is also rumored to boost sexual pleasure. The South African Journal of Clinical Nutrition published an article explaining that chocolate releases two mood-boosting chemicals into our systems: serotonin and phenylethylamine. Keep in mind that the effects of aphrodisiacs are psychological, not physical.
To combat erectile dysfunction, include basil and garlic in your diet. You can also try supplements like ginko biloba and yohimbine.
Confidence and self-esteem are huge factors in the bedroom. The way you feel about yourself and your body significantly affects the way you view sex. Lack of exercise coupled with an unhealthy diet will make your health suffer, increase the chances of headaches and lethargy, and put your body in a state that you might not want your partner to see naked!
If you’re not ready to make a lifestyle change or go to the gym, try to focus on the pleasure aspect of sex instead of what you look like. Remember that you have good qualities and attributes (there is someone who wants to sleep with you, after all).
Alcohol, in small amounts, can act as an aphrodisiac and confidence-booster. But after too much alcohol you may find that things aren’t working right. So try to stick with one glass of wine in the evening instead of two.
Stress can ruin your desire to have sex. Decrease the amount of stress in your life by taking the time to meditate and relax. Get a massage, take a walk in the park, go to the gym, or take a soak in a hot tub – whatever it takes to relax. And make sure to get enough sleep.
If natural methods don’t work and a low sex drive is causing problems in your life, it’s time to visit a doctor. If you’re nervous, remember that you are not alone. Sexual dysfunction is a very common problem that affects men and women of all ages.
Male enhancement products that work
You can find penis enhancement pills in drugstores, grocery stores – even gas stations. Most penis-enlargement pills are classified as “dietary supplements.” Manufacturers make wild claims about length, girth, and erection. But do sexual enhancement products work? And if so, how do they work?
Male enhancement pills work by affecting the corpora cavernosa, a term that refers to two cylinder-shaped tunnels that run the length of the shaft. These chambers contain lots of blood vessels and house all erectile tissue.
An erection begins in the brain. Stimulation (either physical or psychological) triggers nerves in your brain to send a message to your penile nerves. Those nerves cause the relaxation of the penile blood vessels, allowing blood to flow into the penis. That blood is trapped inside the corpora cavernosa, resulting in an erection.
The best male enhancement pills are effective because they increase the amount of blood flow to the corpora cavernosa. Common ingredients include:
- Korean ginseng
- Bluetea superba
To conclude, yes male enhancement pills do work. But keep in mind that each man will experience each product differently. Some men find that increased sensitivity causes them to orgasm quicker – not what they were looking for. Other men report length increases up to 3 inches.
Beware of harmful products! We recommend doing your research before trying any male enhancement products. There are lots of scams out there and unfortunately most of those products contain harmful ingredients that may cause side effects in the long run.
Before you swallow a mysterious pill, let’s get one thing straight: the average penis size is between 5 and 7 inches (when erect). A penis is considered “abnormally small” only if it is shorter than 3 inches when erect. Many women honestly don’t care what size it is. Sex is more about romance and how you use it than how many inches your penis can reach. Talk to your partner if you feel uncomfortable. Understanding your partner’s needs is much more likely to improve your sex life than popping a pill.
Click here to learn more about additional male enhancement products and methods.
Now that you know more about male libido, read more about female libido here.