Ladies, do you ever wonder what to say to a guy you’re interested in? It’s not just about looks. Being able to start a conversation and keep it going – without being boring – is just as important as that cute dress you’re wearing. Keep reading for helpful advice on how to start talking with your crush, how to keep things interesting, and what you should avoid saying.
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Starting a Conversation
You see him every day in math class and you’ve noticed him looking your way. He’s obviously interested. So how do you approach him? Keep in mind that it’s up to you to get the ball rolling. Don’t wait around for him to come to you. Some guys are so shy that they would never approach a pretty girl. He’s probably hoping you’ll walk up and say hi.
If you just can’t muster up the courage to say anything, this tactic might work: next time you see him, look directly into his eyes for about three seconds and smile. He now knows for sure that you’re interested and he might even approach you.
An easy question to start a conversation with is “Can I borrow a pen?” Just make sure you actually have something to write on, or you’ll look like an idiot. Perhaps the easiest way to start the conversation is by asking him for the time. To avoid looking stupid, make sure you’re phone isn’t within view; if it is, he’ll wonder why you didn’t just check the time on your phone.
More easy ways to get him talking:
- Comment on the weather, but think before you speak. Don’t complain. If it’s raining, ask if he wants to share your umbrella. If it’s warm and sunny, smile and say, “Wow, what a beautiful day!”
- If you see him with his dog (or other pet), compliment the animal and ask to pet it. Chances are, he’ll start talking about his pet.
- Compliment his outfit. Guys love compliments just as much as women.
- If you see him at a coffee shop or club, comment on the music playing. Remember, it’s important not to complain. Be positive with whatever you say.
- If you and your crush have mutual friends, ask a casual question about that friend.
- Act lost and ask for directions. Men love to solve problems. If he offers to escort you, give him your number.
- If you find him with his nose in a book, ask him what he’s reading. Nobody likes to be interrupted when reading a good book, but if you smile and get him to start talking about something he enjoys, I bet he won’t mind.
- Order a drink for him. This one takes a little more courage, but it works almost every time. If you see him at a bar, order a drink and have a server bring it to him. Make sure the server tells your crush the drink is from you. When you see the drink delivered, look his way and smile. He’ll probably walk over to you to say thanks.
- If he has visible tattoos, ask him about them. People with tattoos love to talk about them, especially if there is a story or meaning involved.
- If your crush resembles a celebrity, walk up to him and say something like, “Has anyone ever told you that you look like _____?” He’ll probably laugh. Guys love a girl who can make them laugh.
More Ideas for Compliments
Remember not to go overboard with compliments. That being said, some areas in which a man loves to be complimented are: his car, his cooking, his laugh/smile, his skill at a sport or video game, his intelligence, and his work ethic. If you’re looking for something really sweet and a little corny, try one of the following (but make sure you don’t sound creepy):
- If I were a magician, I would never make you disappear. Your body should never be hidden.
- If we were the last two humans on the planet, it wouldn’t take long to repopulate
- You’re so hot that kids can’t look at you without parental supervision
Maintaining a Conversation
So you’ve started a conversation, now what? If he hasn’t started talking about something related to whatever you said, prompt him by asking him a question. Guys love talking about themselves. If he’s interested in you, he’ll eventually start to ask you questions about yourself. However, try to avoid talking about yourself in the beginning. Stick to open-ended questions and avoid questions he can answer with a simple yes or no. If you have a common interest (example: you met him at a dog park and you both have dogs), use that interest to help guide the conversation. If you start to talk with him and find out he’s just not an interesting guy, click here for advice on how to extricate yourself from the conversation.
You should let him do most of the talking – unless he’s shy, in which case you may need to do most of the talking. Remember to keep the conversation light and playful. Men love to laugh, so try your best to be witty. If he gets sarcastic, play along with it.
Click here for advice on how to flirt.
Topics to Avoid
DO NOT talk about your ex! This isn’t a good way of letting him know you’re single. If you start talking about past relationships right off the bat, he’s going to think you have some serious baggage or are looking for a rebound hookup after a recent breakup.
Don’t lose your sense of humor. Is he making fun of you? This probably means he’s trying to see if you can take the sarcasm. Smile, laugh, and poke fun at him right back! Don’t get offended by something insignificant. Here are some specific things you should never say to a guy – unless you’re trying to drive him away:
- Hint that he needs a better job or doesn’t make enough money
- You don’t like his parents, sibling(s), or friends
- He should stop a sport or hobby
- He needs to go to the gym/lose weight
- He isn’t as good as your last boyfriend
- Ask him if another girl is pretty
- When will I see you again? (Makes you sound super clingy)
- Did you sleep with that girl?
- Refer to sports as “just a game”
- Say “I sound just like my mom”
- Call yourself fat or ask him if you look fat
- Admit that your ex did the same thing
With the above advice and a big dose of courage, you should be ready to approach your crush, say hi, and get him talking. If all goes well, click here for ideas on what to talk about during your first date.