Welcome to the digital age of flirting, where about one-third of today’s marriages start with online dating. Flirting has moved beyond face-to-face awkwardness to social media and texting. Let’s be thankful we live in the 21st century because texting is the ultimate flirting tool. Texting gives you the flexibility to send a message any time and to proofread your words before you send them. Even better, you can say what you mean without being distracted or intimidated by a girl’s good looks. Keep reading if you want to learn how to text girls.
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So you have her number, now what?
When you text a girl, your main purpose should be to schedule a date. If you text her just to ask what’s up, she’s not necessarily going to realize you’re interested. Just like in face-to-face situations, the way you communicate says a lot to a woman and can be a deal breaker. The best thing about a text is that it can be sent anytime! You don’t need to worry about interrupting her because if she’s asleep or busy, her phone will probably be turned to silent. After you’ve scored a girl’s number, the very first text you send should be a reminder about how happy you are to have met her or how much fun you had the day/night before.
About 90% of women like to be contacted with a text message within two days of meeting a potential boyfriend. Don’t wait any longer or she might lose interest.
Keep her texting back
The single most important thing when texting a girl (besides scoring a date, of course) is to remember to have fun! Be playful and positive. Don’t be afraid to use emoticons every once in awhile, especially smiley faces. Believe it or not, adding 🙂 at the end of a text has the same effect of a real life smile.
By flirting through text messages, you can make a girl excited to see you again, but save those “getting to know each other” conversations for real conversations. You’re going to need something to talk about during the date.
After the first date
Be a gentleman and send her a short message after your first date asking if she arrived home safely. It’s also a good idea to let her know that you had a great time. Believe it or not, she may be just as nervous as you are. Letting her know you had fun will make her happy and excited to see you again. Let her know you’re looking forward to hanging out again and don’t wait more than two days before asking her out again.
Turn her on
Did you know that you can get a lot of foreplay out of the way just by texting?That’s right, girls can get very turned on by sexy text messages.
It’s a good idea to save the sexy text messages until after the first date, or you may come off as too strong. When you feel the time is right, start by assuming that she’s already thinking dirty thoughts. Act as if she’s the one chasing you. You can use phrases like “let’s do it” in answer to an innocent question to get her thinking about sex.
If you’re not sure whether or not the girl you’re texting is ready to get into bed with you, try out some sexual innuendo. If she doesn’t react to it at all she probably isn’t ready for the next step. If she continues to react to your innuendo and flirting, you can take it to the next step.
“Sexting” is when you describe in detail how she makes you feel and what you want to do to her. If she starts to sext you back, make sure to accept everything she says. You want her to open up to you. If she hasn’t sent these types of messages before, her words may be awkward. But the point is for both of you to get excited in preparation for your next meeting.
If you accidentally offend a girl with texts that are too forward or overly sexual, make sure to apologize and recognize the fact that what you did was out of line.
Make her like you
If your goal isn’t to turn her on, but to get out of the “friend zone” (let’s say she’s a friend or coworker), there are things you can say with texts to make her think you might be more than just a friend. Don’t be afraid to poke fun at her. Teasing her a little shows that you’re confident in yourself and can help build attraction between the two of you. Similarly, it’s also a good idea to make fun of yourself. This can make her laugh, open up to you, and make her feel comfortable around you.
Women like men who are unavailable. In other words, they like a challenge. To make yourself seem more exciting to her, playfully push her away with a message like “wow, we’d never get along as a couple!” Make sure to use this tactic only once. If you say it too many times, she’ll start to believe you.
Women love to talk about themselves, and it’s no different for text messages. Instead of saying “what’s up?” start the conversation with a message like “so how much trouble are you getting into tonight?” This type of message makes you stand out from all the other guys who are texting her and makes her think that you consider her a “troublemaker.”
When you decide to ask her on a date, describe how much fun you’ll be having. Instead of “want to hang out Saturday?” you could send a message like “How does an amazing Thai restaurant followed by drinks on the beach sound this Saturday?”
Things to avoid when texting girls
Just as saying the right thing can seal the deal, saying the wrong thing can be a deal breaker. When texting a girl, make sure to avoid the following:
- Wait three days before texting a girl after you get her number. When you get a girl’s number, text her the very next day; don’t wait. You could even text her later that night with something simple like “It was so nice to meet you! Let’s hang out or chat soon. – [your name].”
- Call her “beautiful” instead of using her name. This might lead her to think you’ve forgotten her name. Make sure to put her real name in your phone immediately so you don’t forget. If you have forgotten her name during the conversation, hand your phone to her and ask her to put her name and number into your phone.
- Text back immediately when she texts you. This makes you seem either desperate or boring.
- Stick to the same subject. You will seem boring if you only text about one topic.
- Text her meaningless phrases like “what’s up” and “hey.” Instead, be direct with your intentions or have a fun, interesting conversation.
- Ask for a date immediately. You need to build up the tension a litte before you ask her on a date. In other words, make her excited to see you first.
- Send nude or topless photos. This is a VERY bad thing to do, unless the relationship has progressed to a point that she has asked for the photos. Immediately sending her this type of photo makes you seem shallow.
- Use shortcuts like “2nite.” This is the biggest texting turn-off for many women. Communication skills are valuable, even when texting. Plus, it realy doesn’t take much effort to spell out your words correctly.
- Over-reply. If the girl sends you five texts in a day, you should send four or five back. In other words, don’t send her ten messages when she’s only sent you a few. Also, if she isn’t swearing in her text message, neither should you.
- Idle chatting. Texting just to text when you really have nothing to say is going to put you in the friend zone.
- Act aloof all the time. Dude, you aren’t as cool as you think you are. You need to show this girl that you actually have emotions. Being too “cool” will turn a girl away because she won’t be able to relate to you.
- Ask her too many questions or give her too many compliments. In both situations it’s overkill and will make a girl feel uncomfortable.
- Send text messages that are paragraphs long. Do you really think she wants to read that? If you have that much to say, call her.
- Update her throughout the day. Do not text every hour to tell her what you re doing. Would you want the same from her? Probably not.
- Accuse her of avoiding you. Guys who try to make a girl feel guilty via text message are just asking to get turned down or dumped.
- Be indecisive. Women like guys who are direct and can make up their mind. If you ask her out to dinner, either pick the restaurant or give her two options to choose from.
- Drunk text her. I don’t need to tell you why this is a bad idea.
If you practice the above habits and advice, you’ll be a texting pro in no time. Good luck and remember to have fun! If you need advice on getting her number in the first place, click here for advice on how to attract and seduce women.
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