To Text or Not to Text HIM
The beautiful thing about texting is that you can communicate with your crush without being nervous. You won’t have to worry about forgetting what you were going to say, stuttering, or looking stupid. He’s not in front of you. You also have the chance to type out exactly what you want to say before you send it. Always proofread your words! It’s very important that you use good grammar and spelling when you text. If not, it will give the impression that you’re lazy and/or unintelligent. Try to stay away from shortcuts like “l8r” (later), ty (thank you), etc. The shortcut “lol” (laugh out loud), however, is okay to use.
Despite all the positives about texting, you can also screw things up by texting too soon or too much. Many women are confused about when to text after a date, how quickly to respond to a text, and what to do if he doesn’t respond to your text.
Don’t text him if:
- You’re drunk – DO NOT text your ex or your crush when you’re drinking!!
- You’ve texted him more than once today and he hasn’t responded
- You just saw him (unless you’re texting one of the examples below after a date, he might think you’re weird if you text him right after seeing him)
- He sent you a text less than 30 seconds ago – responding to texts too quickly makes you seem desperate and boring
- You need to have a serious or emotional conversation – do this in person or at least on the phone
- You’re arguing – because there is no body language or tone of voice with text messaging, fighting through text messages always ends badly
Get him to Text Back
Are you texting your crush and having a hard time getting him to respond? Maybe he’s busy or maybe you’re just not so good at texting. There are lots of ways to get your crush to respond to a text message. First off, play hard to get. This isn’t easy, but it will pique his interest. What I mean is that if he texts you, don’t respond right away. In fact, wait an hour or two before you text him back. Don’t apologize for the wait. It’s always a bad idea to send more texts than he sends. For example, if he sends you one text, don’t send four in response. The goal here is to make him want to text you – not to annoy him.
Don’t make it easy for the conversation to end. For example, if you respond with something like “ok” or “haha” you haven’t really given him anywhere else to go. Maybe he stopped responding because he just didn’t know what to say or was bored. Stay engaged with the conversation and respond in such a way as to make the conversation last. If the topic you’re on isn’t going anywhere, don’t keep pushing it. Introduce a new topic.
Make yourself interesting!! When you text him, talk about the awesome things you’re doing with your life. If your texts are boring, of course he’s not going to respond. Here’s a boring example:
Guy: Hey, what are you up to today?
Girl: Nothing, bored at home watching re-runs.
Here’s a good example:
Guy: Hey, what are you up to today?
Girl: Just got back from a camping trip yesterday so now I’m taking it easy! I love being out there … but I don’t think people were made to sleep on the ground! What are you up to? 🙂
See how the second response is much more interesting? If the girl included an image with that message she has done five things at once:
#1 – Given him a picture to look at
#2 – Described something interesting that might lead to a conversation
#3 – Shown him that she isn’t boring and let him know one thing she’s interested in (camping and being out doors)
#4 – Asked him a question to get him talking
#5 – Sent a smiley face, which has the effect of a smile in real life
Another way to get him texting back is to ask questions about things he’s interested in (if you know what he likes). On the other hand, send him a link to something funny or something you’re interested in to get him talking. Another surefire way to get him to respond is to ask for his advice. Guys love to solve problems. If you ask for help, he will feel valued and have the opportunity to fix the problem.
AVOID shock value texts. Some girls are so desperate to get a response that they send naked pictures or promise sexual favors they never intend to act on just to get the guy to respond. This is a terrible idea!! Remember, if you send a naked image it will probably be spread around or at least shown to his friends (even if you’re dating the guy)!!
It’s also important to avoid texts like “why haven’t you texted me back?” or “why does it take you so long to respond?” These sorts of text messages make you sound needy, which is a HUGE turn off for guys. Instead of acting needy, you need to make him understand that you’re independent and have lots of things going on in your life! A good way to do this is if you’ve invited him to do something and he doesn’t respond in a few hours, make other plans. When he does respond, let him know that you’ve made other plans. Make sure to post pictures on Facebook of how much fun you’re having. If he never responded, maybe he’ll see the pictures (that way, he’ll know you weren’t waiting on him).
That being said, every female needs to realize that no guy is worth waiting around for. If he isn’t treating you well, he doesn’t deserve you anyway!
Flirting via text is ridiculously easy! If you’re looking for cute text ideas without being too blatant or too forward about your intentions, the following list should solve your problems. Make sure not to sound like a robot or overthink your text messages. Just be yourself and remember, the goal is to show him your playful side. Stay casual and have fun!
- “This reminds me of you” – send this text with a cute picture to make your crush realize he’s on your mind. Don’t overdo it (i.e. a picture of a wedding cake) or he’ll think you’re obsessed. The picture could be anything from a mutual interest to an inside joke.
- “Miss me yet?” – if the two of you are friends, send this text immediately after walking away from him to be cute. You can also try this message if you haven’t talked to him in over a week. The way he responds will cue you in to whether he actually misses you or not. And as a bonus, he’ll realize you’re missing him. If he doesn’t text back at all, you can assume he’s not interested.
- “Hey, I had a dream about you last night” – if he seems excited to hear this, he probably assumes the dream was sexual and is interested in you. If he interprets your text as creepy, he probably isn’t interested. You can get yourself out of this awkward situation by telling him the dream was about something mundane.
- “Wish you were here!” – send this text when you’re on vacation or out with friends; anytime you’re doing something fun and he isn’t there. He will assume that you find him to be fun as well but will realize that you being happy doesn’t depend on him being there (don’t send this text when you’re alone doing nothing).
- Click here to learn about “virtual distance,” an effect born of texting.
- “Remember that time…” – remind him of something that happened between the two of you. Hopefully it will make him laugh or smile. And now he’s thinking about you too!
- “Drive safe” – This may seem like a simple text to send at the end of the night, but it really does mean a lot. It shows him that you care about his safety.
- “I had a lot of fun tonight :)” – Send this text after a date or after hanging out as friends. It will alleviate any nervousness or confusion on his part and hopefully he’ll text back that he had fun too!
White texting is definitely a fun and easy way to flirt, make sure to call every once in awhile. He’ll want to hear your voice sometimes. If you follow the above advice, you’ll be texting your crush like a pro in no time. Above all, remember to be yourself and to have fun. If texting you isn’t fun, he won’t do it. If you’ve followed all our advice and he still isn’t responding, it might be time to move on to another guy.
Guys – click here for our advice on how to text women.
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